The Elder Statesmen of Teen Angst

I went to see the Elder Statesmen the other day.
It was their Final Farewell tour
and seeing them reminded me of when I lost my virginity.

They came onstage and announced
their saline drips had been replaced
with bottles of Finlandia.
I knew it was still saline solution,
but the idea of it was exciting.

Tommy started banging on his drums:
the introduction to either
"No Homework Forever" or
"My Girlfriend is a Slut(And I Like It)".
The crowd waited eagerly for Jimmy James
to start singing.

He approached the microphone
as a lion approaches a dead gazelle,
What? he said.

Yeah! replied the crowd.

What? he said.

Yeah! replied the crowd.

What? he said.

and his voice echoed into the night.