Every fifth year Jesus walks into the middle of Times Square and, with a colt revolver as a guarantee and blows his brains out. It is never the same time of day, but always on January 1st so all day residents avoid the square, usually staying in altogether because there is always a chance they will forget what day it, walk through the square, and ruin their favorite coat.
Tourists, on the other hand, pack into rows upon rows of seats, fill the balconies, or pretend to be searching for something in the Disney store while keeping an eye out for a man with long hair and a 45. This is surprisingly hard to nail down considering the number of imitators that, whether it is religious fanaticism or celebrity trend-following, choose to take their own lives after growing a full head of hair. Consequently it has become a noted sign of severe depression to have hair past the shoulders.
On occasion one of the more traditionally devoted spectators will attempt to talk Jesus down as he pulls his luxurious hair back over one ear and clicks the hammer into place, but, with a look of dull courtesy he always responds, "See you next time" and it is over.
No comments:
Post a Comment