I bought a bonsai tree three weeks ago because someone told me they had to be kept small. Since then I have been feeding him raw eggs every morning to the sound of the Rocky theme and giving him small motivational speeches like, "You are a tree. A great big tree in a forest of mere people" and, "I have seen the future and you are huge". One day he asked to be called "Tiger". I thought it was because of the song, but really it was so he could sign his farewell letter:
This is just to say
I can feel every
cubic foot of pressure
in the sky.
Also, I have taken the car.
Regards,
Tiger
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