I Have Crying Spells

I have spells to make a grown man cry.
I have spells of entanglement.
I have spells to give +8 to my critical chance with women.
I have spells for love that I choose not to use.
I have spells to incinerate a man's flesh while leaving his insides unsettled.
I have spells of drunken inspiration.
I have spells of productive denial.
I have spells of nervous laughter.
I have spells to telephone my mother Collect.
I have spells to microwave a frozen pizza.
I have spells to feed my cat exactly what he wants.
I have spells of fear.
I have spells of enthusiasm.
I have spells to fill me with holy fire.
I have spells to fill me with the holy ghost.
I have spells to smite demons, but not to befriend them after it's over.